The nail in the coffin that broke the camel's back

We were playing poker last night, as we are wont to do on Thursdays. It was a very long game filled with various insults being thrown around (by me). Tim, for example, was called a pirate hooker and also told to go back to his home on Whore Island, all within a 2 minute period. I then accidentally(?) let an insult fly at Lawlor. She beat me at some hand, and out of my mouth came the words Crack-Whore. Instantaneously I felt her fist pummel me in the arm, then her open hand slap the inside of my leg above the knee. Ockham's Razor! did that ever hurt. Stung for a good minute or so. Women! Sheeesh. I had to calm her down by giving her some of my delicious Hot Toddy.

So the morals of this story are:(1) it's okay to call Tim offensive names, but not Lawlor.
(2) alcohol makes everything better