Las Vegas (Caution- Lebowski quotes ahead)

I ended up going out to Las Vegas this past weekend. G-Hud was out there from Vancouver at some financial conference and he invited me to come and hang out. Feeney, Joe Zep, and I took off Thursday night at about 8. We were having a great ride, watching Big Lebowski and episodes of Aqua Teen Hunger Force on my Archos AV420, until we hit some horrible traffic just south of Baker. Turns out some big rig turned over. Then, when the rest of the cars were slowing down, 3 other cars got in an accident about a mile south of the first one. Needless to say we were south of both of them, heading north. We pull into vegas at 2:30.

I've just had a bad day, and I hate the f-ing Eagles!

Friday night I play the 2-4 tables at MGM while drinking some nice stuff (free of course): rusty nails, Ketel One martinis, & Johnny Walker, to name a few. I got up $70 and left. It was a good start to my gambling. The table was pretty loose and eager to give me their money.

Whereas what do we have here? A bunch of fig-eaters wearing towels on their heads, trying to find reverse in a Soviet tank. This is not a worthy adversary.

Later that night, Tim and I head over to Excalibur to play some 1-3 spread. I had some nice hands. I had tripled my money at one point (up to $120), but ended with $100 (+$60). Tim had a rough night (and weekend). He got his Ace high flush busted by a straight flush. Ouch.
He left at about 4am. I stayed and played until 9:30am. I haven't been that exhausted since final's week. It was fun heading up to bed while other people were coming down for breakfast. I crashed until about 3.

Darkness warshed over the Dude - darker'n a black steer's tookus on a moonless prairie night.

Saturday was the bad day. We decided to go bowling at the Orleans. We had to wait about and hour for lanes because some tourney had the finals going. This place has about 80 lanes, and the 4 bowlers in the tourney were on lanes 12-13. For some reason they had to have about 100 yards between them and other bowlers. The public could only roll on lanes 50-80. When the tourney ended we started bowling, and I wish we hadn't. Should have taken Walter's advice.

Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means that I don't work, I don't get in a car, I don't ride in a car, I don't pick up the phone, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as shit DONT F-IN ROLL! SHOMER SHABBOS!

The lanes were the slickest I have ever rolled on. I scored an 88 the first game, thereby managing to get myself booted from the 200 club. Zep followed my lead by rolling a 76 in the second game. Freakin awesome. I should've taken it as some sort of omen, like when the pin stays up after Donny's roll at the end of the movie.

Sometimes you eat the bar, sometimes the bar eats you.

I went down to the Luxor's poker tables after that. Sat down at the 2-4. Couple hands after I showed up, a couple sits down. Actually, they first ask me to move a seat over so they can sit together. They're from France. They came to Vegas to get married, and they had just done so 5 hours ago. Who the hell leaves the beautiful cathedrals of France to get married at The Chapel of the West?? And on top of that, who comes to play Poker on their wedding night? People who pay to see every flop do (and maybe Daddy too). These two openly admitted that they will pay to see just about every flop. They said some dealer had told them it was a good idea. I was happy when I heard this (easy money), but it was actaully working for them. I was getting horrible cards (no face card for an entire round), and they were 2-pairing left and right. So I was still even and I left the table and headed for the $50 buy in no-limit.

Are these the Nazis, Walter?
No, Donny, these men are nihilists. There's nothing to be afraid of.

There were some pretty heavy stacks at the table (~$500), at least when compared to my $50. The table was full. I wasn't sure how I would play, since it was first time at a no limit table, so I decided to play it slow the first few hands. (Daddy, if you read this, let me know what I did wrong.) My first hand was As-10c. I was in the big blind ($1-1-2). There was a mid position raise to $20, with 2 calls of the big blind before her raise. I decide not to gamble on A-10, and I fold. The other 3 in the hand after me also fold and she takes down the hand. My very next hand I get is Kh-10h. I am now in the middle blind position. Another mid position raise of $15, with 3 others calling before it gets to me. I decide to fold. Maybe I should have played pot odds on this one, but since I would be first to act, I lay it down. Flop comes 4h-8h-Qh. Son of a bitch! Checks all around. Turn comes 5s. The pre-flop raiser bets $20, everyone folds. I'm am kicking myself, but I still know that K-10 suited is not a strong hand, so it's not that bad. Next round, when I am the first small blind again, I get K-K. 6 players call the BB, and the button raises $15. I have $35 and go all-in. Everyone folds except him. He turns over Q-Q. I'm feeling good, being the 4-1 favorite. Of course his Q comes on the river, and I am done. Not exactly the no-limit experience I wanted my first time.

F sympathy! I don't need your F-in' sympathy, man, I need my F-in johnson!

That was the weekend. Good times all in all. I was still in the + too, so that's a plus (get it?). Now it's back to the daily grind.

I guess that's the way the whole durned human comedy keeps perpetuatin' itself.

Oh yeah, they were filming the WSOP out there at Rio right now. We didn't check it out since it was so crazy over there, but I did go to the Bellagio and saw Gus Hansen playing 3-handed with Johhny Chan, and some other chick who looked pretty young. Maybe she just wanted to play with daddy's money against the big guns, or maybe she is actually pretty good. I didn't watch enough to be able to tell.

I hope you folks enjoyed yourselves, catch ya later on down the trail