24, 57, 33... dammit. 23, 55, 36... sonuvabitch

BRENTWOOD, N.H. -- Emergency workers helped a New Hampshire man out of a difficult situation over the weekend after a friend apparently locked a padlock around his testicles.

According to the Portsmouth Herald, police reported that the 39-year-old man was intoxicated when they arrived at the scene on July 30 at about 3:40 a.m. The man, who was not identified, told them that he had the padlock around his testicles for two weeks. The man said that a friend put the lock on while he was drunk and passed out. When he woke up, the friend was gone.

The man told police that he tried to remove the lock with a hacksaw because the key had broken off in the lock. He was taken to Exeter Hospital, where a locksmith removed the padlock. He was treated and released, and the hospital said he had no lasting injury. Police said that they did not know the motive for the incident.

Wanna cuddle?

Obviously, the answer was no. Be careful out there ladies. Be reasonable with your requests.

Well aren't you jealous!

K-Srasra wrote a song about me and the Bermuda Love Triangle. How did I attain something so lovely, you ask? With my incredible wit, of course. Maybe if you win one of her world-famous caption contests, she'll write a song about you too.

But then again, you may choose the $.99 store item as your prize. Looks like they are enjoying theirs.

Still waiting too see one of those stunt photos though...

EDIT: Looks like I persuaded her.